Tuesday, May 20, 2014

THANK YOU & Paying It Forward

  Ok, so that whole "pay it forward" saying is something I would usually classify as a "buzz word", mostly because (believe it or not) I was so cynical! Who me??
But when I tried to think of ways to pay back the kindness we were shown when Jason died, I couldn't think of any other way. I decided to do my best to do kind things, however big or small, just to throw it back at the universe. 

After all, if not for simple (and BIG!) acts of kindness, I wouldn't be able to focus on healing myself and my girls as much as I have. I have said it many times, I am eternally grateful for so many people that I can't even list them all. But I'll try my best and pleeeease know that I have been mentally and emotionally drained, so there's a good chance I'm forgetting heaps of people and therefore I may not even post this! If you're reading this, well, daring Claire won out over play-it-safe Claire!
Deep breath in, here goes! 

The girls' school has been so helpful, generous and understanding. I will never forget you ladies. THANK YOU!

My friends, Cynthia and Lizz, who set up a gofundme.com account for daycare expenses caught me totally off guard and made me cry at 2am on several nights. THANK YOU!

My cyber soulmate, Shala, owner of Vintage Flower Farm, (find her on Etsy or Facebook for adorable baby girl headbands) set up a successful auction for us. THANK YOU!
(Seriously cute headbands; Lila at 1 year old. Pic by www.yourcandidmemories.com)

Those who donated and bought anything from the above-mentioned auction, THANK YOU!

My old coworkers from Chili's even set up a give-back event, in which a percentage of the food sales went to help my family. THANK YOU!

To the whole staff at my pediatrician's office, y'all know I love to see you weekly like I do. You have done so much for us! Especially Lacee, who tolerates my endless texts and questions! THANK YOU!

My S11M mommy friends, you ladies are a class act. You are truly amazing and you all have done so much for me in these 3+ years. THANK YOU! 

To my neighbors & friends who mowed my lawn, because I don't even have a lawn mower and would like to keep my toes, THANK YOU!

My family who drove and flew from all over the metroplex and all over America, who put their busy lives and work schedules on hold to stay with me for a month, THANK YOU!

To my best friend, Ashley, for sleeping in my bed with me, getting no sleep at 9 months pregnant, and listening to me repeat myself over and over while I cried into my pillow, THANK YOU! 
                  (Me and Ashley)

Sara, for everything you do and are, for loving Lila and Harper when mommy needs a beer break, THANK YOU!

Jason's friends are the best and have checked on us frequently, brought us dinner, invited us to their homes for holidays, helped with Jason's final arrangements, installed little swings for the girls and offered countless ways to help us. They truly love Jason. Matt and Israel, THANK YOU!
    (Iz and Jason)
              (Matt & Lila on Easter)

My coworkers who picked up slack and just plain don't ask too many questions, I just hope y'all forgive me one day! THANK YOU!

Sheryl, my life is so much better with a clean house. It is almost impossible to maintain this beast alone, particularly with my kids actively working against me! Because of you, I am not alone. THANK YOU!

Many donations, individual fundraisers (The Striped Swallow, Origami Owl, Scentsy, The Karma Club, the Fashion Co-op group!) and gifts were sent our way. Tons of love was sent via cards, play things for the girls, monthly diapers (Alicia!), wipes, gifts, fruit baskets, dinners on the meal train, flowers, babysitting, books, even Harper's upcoming 1-year-old picture session (Amy!), and many, MANY prayers and check-ins. Even Jason's coworkers and friends I had never met showed up on our doorstep. Not to mention the sticker surplus Lila enjoyed for a few weeks there! She was in sticker heaven! So many people gave to the daycare fund and I was honored, humbled and shocked to see your names on the donations. It was overwhelming to see you all there. And yes, even the "anonymous" donations showed me your identities on the actual payment site, so I know who you are and I've prayed for you, even if you're not a pray-er! I love you. Your support was a game changer. THANK YOU!

You reading this! Yes, you. The handful of people who read this blog, particularly those who give me feedback, therefore participating in my own brand of therapy, THANK YOU! 

To my daughters, you should be thanking me for making you out of practical thin air and then birthing, feeding and housing you. But it is I who owes you two. For simply giving me a REASON. 

Immediately after I was shown this level of kindness, I was humbled and was given a better perspective of where I really stand in this universe. Not as big and I thought. Not as small as I felt. Confusing? Yep. Still working through that. I started "paying it forward" because it just felt natural. Even though I owe more karma than I could ever pay back, I plan to continue trying! Don't you worry, I will do a post about that, too. Soon. Stay tuned. 

                 Love & Happiness, 


  1. I love you and your blog...i started reading one night on the q and a blog and couldn't stop. I read every blog posted here and the other one. You're an inspiration, you're incredible strength, the strength you don't feel when you're alone, that strength shines through your words and pictures. Don't ever doubt how strong you are, how important you are, or how incredibly beautiful you are. You are important to me and I don't even "know" you. Your blog helps me and I've never experienced a loss. Keep it up, Claire because you totally fucking rock!

    1. Thanks Melissa. That makes me feel all warm and gooey inside :) I really appreciate you taking the time to comment so sweetly!

  2. Claire,
    I read every single post. I don't know you but know some of your friends and every word you have written has helped me remember a K have to be thankful for. You are an inspiration to people you will never know so please keep writing. At the end of the day when my baby girl is asleep I read these posts and give thanks and then read them again and pray for you and your family. You Are Moving Forward One Step At A Time- good for you and your sweet girls!

    1. Thank you! That means so much to me that you took the time to comment :) Thank you thank you!

  3. I love the cynical Claire just as much. Can't wait to see you in a few weeks!

  4. I stumbled across your blog from an IG post from the shoe junkie and I can't quit reading! You are such an amazing woman and your girls know that! Such an inspiration for life! Thank you!!